I’ve entered this blog into The UK Blog Awards 2015 (#UKBA15). Part of me wants to cut myself for doing it, throw myself from the top of a building, open the doors to my cupboard and stay inside forever. The reason for anyone entering their own work into a competition is ego. Part of me, the part I want to sit in a boiling hot bath and force to read The Bible, wants people to read my words. Part of me wants to have a panic attack in a toilet before entering a room full of vacuous people. A room full of the weird and insecure, a room full of people seeking affirmation from strangers because they seek it for themselves.
So, here we are. Yay.
If you are a subscriber to this blog, or have enjoyed my posts, of if you merely wish to exercise a protest vote because you would rather any other blog win an award than “Divorced Angry Margaret And Her Fat Three-Legged Dancing Cat Bernard” – then the link below is for you.
Note to self: that sounds like a good blog. Maybe write it one day.
Click the link below, scroll down and you will see this:
Fill the box in. Hit submit. Here’s the link:
http://www.blogawardsuk.co.uk/candidates/thought-scratchings/
Share the link with friends. Or, if you suffer from anxiety and don’t have any friends just click on the link and think about putting your details in, but then don’t because you’re sure it’s all some kind of ruse that will lead to your inevitable doom.
I promise to go to the award ceremony and throw up into plant pots, shout at a random girl ‘why did you leave me for Tim!’ – eat only the stones of olives, chew matchsticks into broken people shapes, cry on the shoulder of the biggest man in the room about losing my pet hamster to old age in 1986 – and then, when they call my name out, pretend to be someone else collecting on behalf of Craig Stone “Who can’t be here tonight because he’s overseas saving sick children from the plight of Ebola”.
What a guy.
